Monday, January 23, 2012

Sunday Religion? No. Christ? YES!

Sunday mornings have been a source of stress for me. It's getting 7 people ready and out the door that is the whole issue.
For us it goes a little like this:
Have you had showers?
Brushed your teeth?
Do your clothes match?
Do your clothes fit? No too small go put on something better. I don't have anything better! No? Yes you do we just bought you clothes! But I don't like that shirt, pants, etc I raved about in the store anymore. I don't care wear it anyway!
Where are my socks? So and so took my socks!
Honey what do you want the little ones to wear? That's too small she's grown out of that.
Oh no and here comes the toddler nuclear meltdown because she can't have dessert for breakfast.
Do we have our bibles? No I left mine at church 3 1/2 Sundays ago. What and you didn't say anything?
Got your coats? I don't have one, mine doesn't keep me warm, I don't need one its only 1 below out anyway! What?! Put your coats on!
The baby needs a hat!
Diaper bag ready?
Ok lets get in the car. I'll skip that whole dialogue. Wait... who forgot deodorant? We hear a low "me"... (from the back of the back of the suburban) Ugh go put it on and hurry!
... finally arriving at church. *gasp!* Helaina doesn't have any socks on and two out of 5 kids have light jackets on complaining that it's cold! (O.o) I think to myself, yeah I've got to plan the night before. This morning routine of chaos has got to change as my husband drops us off close to the door and parks the car.

I shuffle through the crowds with a bulky car seat and 4 kids as someone decided to add a little gasoline to the fire that was almost out with,  "Whew I'm glad those days are over for me."  I nod, although offended inside but laugh it off then proceed to catch eye contact with people I know coming or going. Some I'm glad to see some I completely avoid eye contact. Yes I admit, some people just can say some of the craziest things that I try to avoid. It makes my day easier. By the way the "Whew I'm glad those days are over for me" comment was said to me twice. Once before service and once while I was feeding baby Fia. I thought to myself wow, you know I wouldn't give this up for the world. My family as crazy and unorganized as we are, I love them. They are my world and I'm honored the God let me have a family. Yes this stage of life is a bit overwhelming at times but I am enjoying seeing my kids grow up. For some it might not have been that way. Maybe they suffered through the infant, toddler, preteen, and teen stages. I don't know but you can't assume everyone has. I for one didn't like being pregnant at all but I would never tell a pregnant woman "Whew glad those days..." She might love being pregnant for all I know. I guess people just don't think. To me that says they don't care enough about the passing person to give a passing word of encouragement. Of all places, we were at church but some are their due to their obligation to fulfill a religious tick off their list.  Love doesn't reside with that motivation. I can't say they even meant well, because the words were accompanied with the head shake and facial expression. As we were leaving an older lady asked me if I had just had a new baby because she saw the car seat. I said yes and she asked how old. I said she's 4 months. She then says oh that's not so new. Well ok then! The she says, can the baby breath? I assured her yes she could. We had a fleece blanket over her to shield her from the whipping winds. She said ok, I don't want to have to do CPR. I did the smile and nod again. Maybe she didn't notice the alive and well 4 kids traveling behind me?? Wow people. Wow.

It's moments like these that make me question why do I even put up with going to church? Why when you have people
who talk to you crazy, criticize you, your parenting, your family, where you live, how you look, how often you serve, etc. Why when you can get the podcast and rest in your own comfortable home? Well here's why. Each Sunday our Pastor fights through his or her own battles to bring a message to us. Each Sunday other families go through this same thing. I see families that I love to talk to, I see friends that encourage me, I see my kids enjoy it. I see my husband joking with others, and that makes me smile. In reality it's not about me. It's about God. Its about our spiritual growth. It's about hearing the word of God and applying it to our lives. It's not about who's wearing what, who's popular, who's got this and that. Sure that stuff happens even in church but I shake off the offenses and move ahead. I'm learning if I give it more time than the moment of dismissal it deserves it steals my joy, and my family's joy. It's not worth that.  We aren't perfect but we can be aware of our actions and words. Live what we proclaim, open our eyes, and began to LIVE because God gave us our lives not to harm one another but to build one another up. I don't claim to have or to expect life to change overnight  After all we are a church full of imperfect people trying to do something right. That's it. So we do this every week, (until God leads us to do something else) and we learn... some of us learn because I still have to get that morning routine down lol.

A friend of mine posted this video on facebook. I'd like to share it because it's so true. So many are going the religious route. I'm not religious and here's why.


TonyR said...

I loved this post. I remember when our children where younger and going through the same thing.I cherished every moment of those day. Bless you and continue to stay encouraged even in the face of foolishness.

jessd said...

Oh wow! You hit the nail on the head! This is our Sunday for sure. It's also so aggravating when people say things like, can they breathe? As if you weren't having a heck of a time anyway and she knew darn well your baby could breathe. Im sorry for that ignorance. I find myself having a VERY short fuse for people when im out in public with the kids. When I first started FFC and Ivana was in her baby carrier and I had a bottle propped up with a blanket. A lady walked past me smiling and looking at my baby. I thought she was going to say something sweet about her. Instead she made a comment about the bottle being propped. I was so offended and heartbroken. Here I am doing the best I can, trying to get myself and family in church and trying to have a moment. As if i weren't tending to her. I felt horrible and considered leaving since she was and is a prominent person in the church but I stayed and I'm glad I did. I'm sure that lady didn't intentionally plan on ruining my visit or day. Sometimes we are all guilty of "insert foot" moments. I know I have plenty of them. :) I look at this way, any where you go there are going to be people just like that. For now, I will continue and press on with my stressed out Sundays!! I loved reading this!

Tawanna said...

Tony - Thank you! I know you did, I'm remembering recently how it was hard for you to see your son go off to college. We love our kiddos and yeah it may be a struggle but really, I'd rather have this struggle than others.

Jess- You are a great mom but I know that made you feel crappy. That actually happened to me once with the girls. I felt the same way. At the moment it's heartbreaking especially as a new mom. Proves that even people well known in the church and misuse their tongues! Even the older people who you would think would know better say things that they really could and should keep to themselves. lol makes me want to say "Way to build me up there Christian!" the next time someone decides to pour gasoline on my Sunday fires!